Afterward, Ace Frehley will give you the thumbs up! However, just adjacent to the bathrooms, this pretty-naughty dive bar features a stairway, affectionately labeled "The Brothel." It’s dark and creepy, and we’ve heard many stories about people using it for unlawful carnal knowledge. If you find yourself having sex in the relatively disgusting bathrooms at Sabbatic, you probably need to re-evaluate your night’s decisions. But maybe your partner will be into that? Also: If you choose the women’s room, you’ll have a painting of a blue-faced, screaming, snaggletoothed tiki man watching you. The only problem? Foundation’s not exactly spacious, and the bathrooms aren’t exactly hidden, so your tryst might be more public than you’d hoped. in that case you could and should move this up in your list.Ĭould there be a better place than a tiki bar to get lei’d? Unlike its tropical inspirations, this beloved Riverwest joint is dark and dimly lit, which makes it perfect for a little discreet dip into the bathroom. The downside is you could have some guests in the other stalls and Distil is a classy joint, so they may not be as into your getting busy as you are. They could also rank as some of the cleanest on the list and are down the back hallway away from the dining room and bar area. Finally, if staring at a dozen of Bettie Page's contemporaries doesn’t stir something up after going deep into Burnhearts’ craft beer menu, well, then, you probably had too many.ĭistil’s bathrooms are indeed "do me" bathrooms – from the rosy lighting, full-length stall doors, down to the Method Sea Mineral soap (good for clean-up and cover-up!). Need another reason to get your heart racing? A psychic once told the owners that the spot used to serve as a brothel, so you’ll see plenty of racy imagery integrated into the design of the place – there’s a literal "boob tube," after all. You’ll have to be an contortionist to get it on in Burnhearts’ tiny bathrooms, but that’s not why it’s on the list: it’s the vintage pin-up nudies that grace the walls outside them. After the act, treat yourself to a really dirty martini at the bar. Do it in the ladies' room and you'll have a Downtown panorama as a backdrop. Because of the opulence and cleanliness that runs throughout The Pfister, a rendezvous anywhere in the place will class-up even the sleaziest encounter.
Just because you got fancy for The Pfister (Blu is on the top floor of the swanky, historic hotel) doesn't mean you can't get down and dirty in the cocktail lounge's bathroom.
One bathroom features barely-clad women with sheep heads, while the other is filled with muscular men donning sheepish grins. Still feeling sheepish and need a little visual titillation? Check out the art hanging from the walls. They’re huge, private and unisex, so you can have your pick, and neither of you will get side eye when exiting. If you desire some serious space to wrangle your lover into submission, check out the johns at Black Sheep. We’re not suggesting you run out and skeez up every stall in the city, but if you and your horny bar-hopping honey find yourselves in desperate need of privacy between sips, here’s an alphabetical, unsanctioned list of local bars with serviceable bathrooms for "the sex." Yes, we're obviously kidding about this entire article. The real issue is whether someone will steal your bar stools while you’re getting lucky in the loo. Some are cleaner than others, and of course you have to decide whether to slip into the guy’s or the girl’s room, but these are not really the problems at hand. However, rooms can be scarce when the need for love is urgent – so there might be times when we seek out less conventional grope spaces.
The old expression "get a room" suggests that the best place for copulating couples is behind a closed door.